Communication is one of the most important components of any relationship. No matter how similar you and your partner may be, communication can ebb and flow depending on the topic of conversation and certain life events.
Despite the dynamic you and your partner share, you won't agree on anything and everything. Some conversations will be easier than others. Conversation can get a little more complex if you and your partner have differences. Personal differences like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD can add more challenges to the mix.
If your partner struggles with ADHD, you may have to work a bit harder and be more mindful of your communication style to ensure you're working together to improve your communication. Here are some tips for communicating effectively with your ADHD partner.
Look Inward
No two people in a relationship are exactly the same. It's important to remember that even couples who don't have the added complexity of a mental health condition like ADHD have their own share of differences to work through. These differences help to make a relationship exciting and for each person in the relationship to learn and grow, independently and as a unit.
Try to remember that these differences aren't just on your partner. You need to be able to look inward and reflect on your own actions and behaviors that may be leading to some of these communication issues. Once you identity certain areas that could use some improvement, you can work to making them better on your end for the both of you.
Practice Acceptance
Try to put yourself in your partner's shoes. A lot of the time, people with ADHD try to put more effort into masking their symptoms so they don't have to be frustrated with themselves. They don't need you to become frustrated with them as well when they're already doing that enough on their own. If you notice yourself getting irritated during a conversation, initiate breaks and walk away so you can calm down. Taking the time to accept those differences can help you and your partner communicate better down the road.
It's Not Personal
Remember that a side effect of ADHD is having memory issues. Try not to take this personally. Your partner isn't trying to irritate you or forget dates that are important to you. These signs and symptoms aren't international or a personal attack. If you find yourself becoming upset about something they may have forgotten about, try to direct that energy to coming up with solutions to help them remember in the future.
Find What Works Best for You
There isn't necessarily a right or a wrong way to communicate. There isn't a book that you can read or a class that you can take to mold you and your partner into communicating in a specific way. You have to find what works best for each of your wants and needs, as well as your communication styles. Take the time to experiment and explore different communication methods so that you can improve your communication with one another together. Practice makes perfect.
Seek Additional Support
Communication is key in any type of relationship. But it's also an aspect that can go wrong quickly when not done mindfully. Couples worldwide are bound to have communication issues at some point or another. Asking for help doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Attending therapy with or without your partner shows how much you care and value your relationship. Sometimes an outside third party can help to provide a fresh perspective that you and your partner may not have considered just yet. If you or your partner are interested in exploring Attachment Based therapy or couples therapy, reach out today to see how we can help you both push past any communication barriers and move forward together.