No matter when you grew up or hold old you are, you're probably familiar with the American sitcom from the 70s, The Brady Bunch. This series centered around a large blended family of a mother with three girls and a father with three boys, making a total of six children.
Family dynamics can already be complicated on their own. Blended families come with their own set of unique challenges that standard and non-blended families don't necessarily have to deal with. Blended families mean finding ways to merge different boundaries, expectations, parenting styles, traditions, and more.
Let's learn more about some of the common hurdles in blended families and how to overcome them.
Parenting Styles
One of the most common hurdles within a blended family is the different parenting styles that the two parents are bringing to the mix. Each parent will come with their own boundaries, expectations, rules, and approaches to disciplining their children.
These different styles can lead to conflict and even confusion among the children. The parents must work together to have a combined and united approach to their newfound parenting style. The new implementation of the parenting style should be a compromise of both parents' parenting styles and perspectives towards parenting that is mutually beneficial to themselves and their children.
Traditions
Every family has their own traditions. These traditions are usually based on specific holidays like birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanza. Bringing two families together can complicate and cause strain on these traditions, especially when each family has their own traditions that are unique to them.
Blended families have the additional challenges of having to find a balance between the different traditions, setting expectations, and finding ways to incorporate both traditions while finding new traditions and shared experiences to celebrate together moving forward.
A Mix of Siblings
Blended families often mean a mix of siblings coming together to form one family of its own. This could mean siblings of different genders and age ranges trying to navigate this new normal of becoming new siblings and living together. Differences in how they were raised and their background can create tension and cause rivalry to occur between the siblings.
While sibling rivalry can be common, this type of rivalry can manifest in intense ways. Siblings may try to fight for their parent's attention, which could lead to tension and chaos.
Loyalty to a Biological Parent
Another area that can be of concern in a blended family is when a child feels like they have to be loyal to the other parent. They may feel like they have to be more loyal to their biological parent instead of their new stepparent. Even if everyone in the large family dynamic gets along, the child could still end up feeling guilty for getting too close to their stepparent. This can cause an internal battle and even turn into issues with a child's actions and behaviors down the road.
Seek Additional Support
No matter what your family dynamic looks like. Every family will deal with challenges and conflict at some point or another. With the right guidance and support, blended families can operate successfully. Don't let the added stress, behavioral issues, communication barriers, and disagreements turn into a cycle that is difficult to break and lead to divorce.
An outside third party can help to provide a fresh perspective and insight into these hurdles. With the right support, you'll learn to:
Establish clear expectations
Communicate more effectively
Improve your relationships
Work towards healthier conflict resolution
Reach out today to learn more about how therapy can help you and your family adjust to this new normal together.